It's funny how I can get more views on one youtube video yet I'm so much more impressed watching my blog views increase as I post another entry.
I'm watching Beautiful Losers. I'm halfway through and couldn't take it anymore. The themes explored via these relatively unknown artists (but aren't most artists unknown?) really is connecting with me.
My entire life I've felt the push and pull of my faith culture (church, family, religion) and my lifestyle culture (friends, school, education, family, emotions). In high school I'd hang out with kids on all kinds of drugs getting up to no good doing crazy things, skateboarding, vandalizing, breaking things, lighting stuff on fire. Then I'd go to youth group on Friday nights sometimes with the same guys and we'd talk about faith and God.
I always remember hearing the made-up devotional stories about the kid who noticed the other kid in church being two-faced. Y'know he'd see him in church being told how nice he is by all the old ladies and singing in the choir then on Monday he'd see the kid in the smokers pit telling dirty jokes with the other smokers... At the end of the story the question was always. Are you a two-faced Christian? I always felt so convicted by that... That idea of being two-faced. With my friends at school I certainly acted and talked different but people always new my faith side of life. They knew I did church stuff and that I didn't smoke dope because it was "against my religion" and I respected my parents and stuff but they respected it in a way that has been rarely felt since.
They saw who I was. I was never two-faced but to an outsider church kid who only saw me one way I was consider a hypocrite and a lying bastard (true story actually). After the animosity was felt and they talked to me the walls came down, apologies were made, and friendship was formed.
I grew up in many worlds but emerged as one person. Funny how that works. I learned how to work hard, I learned how to be peaceful, and I learned how to survive through tough times, and I learned how to keep my faith through all of it.
The kids I met in high school will forever keep me changed.
I rarely hung out with church kids at high school... Why? No one let anything through. When I spent time with my friends that weren't "good" I'd share in life with them. We'd talk about the stuff we went through the night before and it wasn't about how annoying homework is... It was about our parents... Our parents sucked... Yeah, I know typical teenager lameness... It wasn't until I had a friend tell me about her mother smoking crack and running around the house screaming. Sobering stuff.... I identified with that. My dad was going through a percocett addiction after heart surgery... He was screaming at night too...
So I'm stuck at this point... I'm stuck in this point where my life is one but is in multiple worlds again. My career is in the middle of church and film. I'm being told to marry them together...
I want too but the rational brain of mine tells me I can't... I can't make a career out of it. Yeah, there may be a few guys out there doing it but what do I have to offer?
This kid... inspired by Harmony Korine, Ed Templeton, Rob Bell, Francis Chan, Peter Rollins, Slavoj Zizek, Quentin Tarantino, Shephard Fairey, Stanley Kubrick... So many opposing personalities come together in my brain and don't come out with anything fantastic. Just a confused mess.
The thing is I'm slowly working on it. Are you? I know you are... take it from me, it just takes time.
So... in conclusion watch Beautiful Losers... You won't be sorry. It's on youtube as well as netflix (you have no excuse)
I'm watching Beautiful Losers. I'm halfway through and couldn't take it anymore. The themes explored via these relatively unknown artists (but aren't most artists unknown?) really is connecting with me.
My entire life I've felt the push and pull of my faith culture (church, family, religion) and my lifestyle culture (friends, school, education, family, emotions). In high school I'd hang out with kids on all kinds of drugs getting up to no good doing crazy things, skateboarding, vandalizing, breaking things, lighting stuff on fire. Then I'd go to youth group on Friday nights sometimes with the same guys and we'd talk about faith and God.
I always remember hearing the made-up devotional stories about the kid who noticed the other kid in church being two-faced. Y'know he'd see him in church being told how nice he is by all the old ladies and singing in the choir then on Monday he'd see the kid in the smokers pit telling dirty jokes with the other smokers... At the end of the story the question was always. Are you a two-faced Christian? I always felt so convicted by that... That idea of being two-faced. With my friends at school I certainly acted and talked different but people always new my faith side of life. They knew I did church stuff and that I didn't smoke dope because it was "against my religion" and I respected my parents and stuff but they respected it in a way that has been rarely felt since.
They saw who I was. I was never two-faced but to an outsider church kid who only saw me one way I was consider a hypocrite and a lying bastard (true story actually). After the animosity was felt and they talked to me the walls came down, apologies were made, and friendship was formed.
I grew up in many worlds but emerged as one person. Funny how that works. I learned how to work hard, I learned how to be peaceful, and I learned how to survive through tough times, and I learned how to keep my faith through all of it.
The kids I met in high school will forever keep me changed.
I rarely hung out with church kids at high school... Why? No one let anything through. When I spent time with my friends that weren't "good" I'd share in life with them. We'd talk about the stuff we went through the night before and it wasn't about how annoying homework is... It was about our parents... Our parents sucked... Yeah, I know typical teenager lameness... It wasn't until I had a friend tell me about her mother smoking crack and running around the house screaming. Sobering stuff.... I identified with that. My dad was going through a percocett addiction after heart surgery... He was screaming at night too...
So I'm stuck at this point... I'm stuck in this point where my life is one but is in multiple worlds again. My career is in the middle of church and film. I'm being told to marry them together...
I want too but the rational brain of mine tells me I can't... I can't make a career out of it. Yeah, there may be a few guys out there doing it but what do I have to offer?
This kid... inspired by Harmony Korine, Ed Templeton, Rob Bell, Francis Chan, Peter Rollins, Slavoj Zizek, Quentin Tarantino, Shephard Fairey, Stanley Kubrick... So many opposing personalities come together in my brain and don't come out with anything fantastic. Just a confused mess.
The thing is I'm slowly working on it. Are you? I know you are... take it from me, it just takes time.
So... in conclusion watch Beautiful Losers... You won't be sorry. It's on youtube as well as netflix (you have no excuse)
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